A weekly feast of celebrity diets with a side of fitness trends

Posts tagged ‘alcohol’

Gut Therapy

Let’s face it…

Your gut probably looks like…

Or

All thanks to

And lots of…

But very little…

While I may or may not be saying “I told you so,” (way to watch my Thanksgiving video, seriously) that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to help you help your gut.

(However if you look like Paris Hilton when you get out of the car… I will just point and laugh. Dofus.)

You see, when you detox your gut (which is comprised of you liver, kidneys and intestines) from all the fat globs and excess alcohol you pounded last week, you will enhance your immune system, thus lessening your risk of getting sick this winter.

Looking a little under the weather there Hill.

Why don’t you try and avoid continuing to live the Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears lifestyle throughout the holidays.

Instead…

  • Lay off the alcohol, drugs and tobacco as much as possible. Tell Cheech and Chong that you’ve got to cool it. 
  • Take a stress break every so often. You don’t need to be first in line to buy the newest Ferbie? (Yeah, apparently those are back)
  • Cut down on over-the-counter drugs. Only ignore this if your in-laws are REALLY pissing you off.
  • Drink like a fish (water that is). Wait, do they even drink? I need a marine biologist!
  • Eat high fiber fruits and vegetables. Time to buy some Beano!
  • Shun fried foods and processed foods. No more deep-fried Twinkies for you!

Wait, hold the phone. These tips actually sound like the lifestyle you should be living every day, not just after a gluttonous meal.

So if these tips were a pony, jump on them and go for a ride!

Okay, that didn’t make any sense at all…

Wee!

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Kamikaze Crazy

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer…

No, no, no, beer is not expensive enough!

99 bottles of Dom Perignon on the wall, 99 bottles of Dom Perignon, take one down, pass it around…

And everyone gets a DUI.

Every other day it seems as though a celebrity is being pulled over for driving under the influence.

I thought they had enough money to pay for drivers? Oh wait, they spent it all on the Cristal!

PETA gets so happy when they see this picture.

Not only are they jeopardizing other people’s lives by getting behind their Bentley‘s wheel, but they’re also jeopardizing their health by binge drinking.

Drinking in moderation actually has health promoting properties but clearly Mel Gibson, Chris Klein, Paris Hilton, Amanda Bynes… and everyone else in “celeb-ville” (?) have no idea what moderation is.

The “Didster” just can’t stop!

When done appropriately, drinking may actually be healthy. (Emphasis on the MAY as some people MAY NOT benefit)

  • Reducing your risk of developing heart disease
  • Reducing your risk of dying of a heart attack
  • Possibly reducing your risk of stroke
  • Lowering your risk of gallstones
  • Possibly reducing your risk of diabetes

Alright, alright, before you pull a Matthew McConaughey and release your musical talent stark-naked…

Huh?

Check out the negative effects drinking has in excess.

Short Term:

  • You look like a doofus

Long Term:

  • Loss of brain cells
  • Liver failure
  • Stomach ulcers
  • High blood pressure
  • Certain types of cancer
  • Epilepsy
  • Nerve damage
  • Heart failure
  • Putting other people’s live at risk (if you take the wheel)

Think about that the next time you order a B-52, Appletini, Long Island Iced Tea or whatever your poison may be!

Prost! Zum Wohl!

Lindsey, go home!

Don’t forget to check out episode 4 of the GiGi Eats Celebrities (a little kick in your pants!) web series! Episode 5 will be thrown down your esophagus (too graphic?) April 17th!