A weekly feast of celebrity diets with a side of fitness trends

That’s Greasy

If you want a smoking hot body like Paris Hilton

Kate Upton

Padma Lakshmi

and Audrina Partridge…

Then perhaps it’s time you put on or go buy your skimpy bathing suit (gentleman, this means nut huggers for you) and submerge yourself into a meaty triple decker tur-por-chick-hamburger with all the fixings. Don’t you dare forget the ketchup!

Thank you Carl’s Jr. for this superb, albeit slightly smelly, diet trick.

In all seriousness though, the only reason why these luscious ladies are giving their burgers the “come-hither” stare is because the aroma of these “bun packages” has them all delusional! Do I smell a burger cologne in the near future?

Considering the average calorie count of a fast food joint’s meat mound is around 900, one would question what’s really in their secret recipes.

Eating burgers with such atrocious nutrition labels, even in the most seductive way possible, will only leave you feeling as sexy as an octopus with a stomach ache.

(“I need some Pepto-Bismol, STAT!”)

And while these “appetizing” ladies may indulge in a burger every so often, they’re more likely to be seen getting down and dirty with a tossed salad than a triple cheese, bacon, heart attacking inducing sloppy mess (Now that’s naughty…)

So if you ACTUALLY DO want a taut bikini body (summer is around the corner even if you see eight feet of snow outside) … Climb your way out of that meaty triple decker tur-por-chick-hamburger.

Oh and you can forget the ketchup.


Comments on: "That’s Greasy" (10)

  1. grosssssssss!! America’s Tweetheart is 100% meat free! 🙂


  2. mlsexton88 said:

    This is a mad hilarious post but so true.

  3. Love your blog! Creatively genius. Pepto Bismo, STAT!

  4. I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, check it out 🙂 http://wp.me/p1t6mc-xF

  5. KaayaFitnessKoach said:

    I saw Kim K. on Kourtney and Kim Take New York the other day and it looks like after her Carl’s Jr. ad she got stuck eating those Double Western Bacon Cheeseburgers for Lunch and Dinner… Her hips remind of an F350 with the dual rear wheels (Saddle Bags!!!). I’m sure she doesn’t forget the ketchup. 😀

  6. This post is absolutely hilarious and absolutely true. I would LOVE to repost this on my site with your permission and a link back.

  7. Is this why your brother likes Carl’s Jr so much?? 😉

  8. Nut huggers. Heeeeeeee

Give me some grub!

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